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Permission to begin

Trying things before I feel ready, and keeping enough hope to act.

  1. 01 / A thought

    My Physical Book Collection Is All of Two

    Got another one yesterday. Now my physical book collection is all of two. lol. Need to be sure I'm not developing some sort of problem. 💀 But these books in particular feel like they're buying art and it's more than just a book. They're kind of like visual reminders of lessons you need to keep. I must admit that I have three more books on the way and i still don't know how I'll store them, but here's to giving yourself permission to do things you want and make you feel good. I've wanted to start getting physical books, now I'm letting myself do that. The semantics can come later lol.

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  2. 02 / A thought

    A note from Oct 16, 2026

    One of the things I've wanted for a long time is to have a shelf of physical books. I just never felt settled enough to start collecting. I still don't. But this feels like a good opportunity to start experimenting. It feels really good. Didn't know I missed the new book smell. It also feels like an art book. Like the book itself is art. Got inspired to buy it after watching this reel from Salem King. Ironically, the books I actually wanted to buy to kickstart this physical book journey weren't available and this was more of an add on.

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  3. 03 / A thought

    The Friction Before Doing the Thing Tends to Be a Facade

    I don't know how normal this is but I learned some time ago about myself that when I have this strong aversion to trying something, it doesn't really signal anything of importance. I don't necessarily mean a strong intuition against something fishy or sketchy. I mean something like trying a movie, an experience, something new and/or different that I just don't feel like doing. It may even be a gig or an opportunity. Sometimes, there is genuinely something off about it. In those moments, when I ignore myself, i tend to regret it in some way. But in the moments where I can't pinpoint anything and just have this strong resistance to do…

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  4. 04 / A thought

    Optimism Is Rational.

    I haven’t been the most optimistic person you've ever met. In fact, for a portion of my life I was a pessimist. I remember my parents asking why I was always frowning and my response would be "why should I smile?" Pessimists like to think of themselves as “realists”, but in reality, their view of the world is so dark that what is “real” is just “everything ends up in a bad place”. I understand this view. I’m not the best believer in the world and in the human race. People say there is good in humanity. I say there is both good and bad with many incentives to be bad.

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  5. 05 / A thought

    It’s a Good Time to Reiterate That Sometimes, Naivety Is Good

    The other day, I was watching a video explaining a comic book storyline where the ideals of an older person clashed with that of a younger one. It was an alternate Spider-man reality in a very corrupt world and a young Peter Parker having so much rage about the injustice of the world and having very simple politics.

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